What to do with Loneliness

what to do with loneliness. That was the name of the chapter in the book I'm taking quite awhile to go through - Elisabeth Eliot's "Passion and Purity".

I haven't touched this book from the time I left for Taiwan, which sure feels like months ago, and it amazes me how the chapter just knew what I needed right then and now.

The chapter spoke my heart out, and I was just sucked into after reading part of a letter in the book which goes like this "Sometimes this loneliness inside hurts so badly. It's not that no one loves me; I have wonderful parents and loving brothers and sisters. But I've experienced a loneliness this year like I've never had before, and I know a lot of it is due to the fact that I'm out of college and on my own for the first time."

It felt as if I was the one writing it, writing all my thoughts and emotions into this little space.

Maybe it's the end of holidays, the recent return from a country I haven't been back for years, the jet lag, the frustration of having to sort out university and finances. Or maybe this is just a stage of life. Loneliness. Something that nobody can ever be used to.

Just as the passage says, I know I'm not alone, but it just seems so that everyone around is so busy, they have their own families, their own worries. They care about you, but sometimes, life is as it is and things just don't turn out how you want it to be.

Thinking about the past, how things used to be, how it seemed so far away. that fairy-tale story that I used to live in. Maybe I was just young.

Staying up late at night, not knowing what time is a good time to sleep since I have control and there is nobody to give comments. Locking the doors once I step indoors. Trying to sleep but worrying about what next week would be like, and if there will be a break in. Do I have my phone nearby?

Do they think I'm a bother? Maybe I shouldn't text them, they must be busy. All these unhealthy thoughts and more, that I suddenly fine myself dwelling in.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I've got depression.

Even if I'm standing in a crowd, the loneliness still stands.

I'm not complaining. Just sharing. I don't expect this feeling to disappear suddenly, for it is a stage that any person will have to face. Well most people. I dare not say all, for I do not know all things.

But I am looking forward to seeing the grown me in a few years time, having experienced this stage of life once, or twice, or many more times that I wished to have had.

I am grateful for this experience, the see life more clearly and to understand myself better. So don't feel sorry for me, but just be witnesses of me struggling, growing, and becoming a better me.

And to all you who might be facing the same trial as me, stay strong, and here's the rest of the chapter that I found very useful and would like to share with you.


"Be still and know that He is God. When you are lonely, too much stillness is exactly the thing that seems to be laying waste your soul. Use that stillness to quiet you heart before God. Get to know Him. If He is God, He is still in charge.

Remember that you are not alone. "The Lord, He it is that doth go with thee. He will not fail thee neither forsake thee. Be strong and of good courage."(Deut. 31:8) Jesus promised His disciples, "Lo, I am with you always." (Matt. 28:20) Never mind if you cannot feel His presence. He is there, never for one moment forgetting you.

Give thanks. In times of my greatest loneliness I have been lifted up by the promise of 2 Corinthian 4:17, 18, "For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, because we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen." This is something to thank God for. This loneliness itself, which seems a weight, will be far outweighed by glory.

Refuse self-pity. Refuse it absolutely. It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you. Turn your thoughts to Christ who has already carried your griefs and sorrows.

Accept your loneliness. It is one stage, and only one stage, on a journey that brings you to God. It will not always last.

Offer up your loneliness to God, as the little boy offered to Jesus his five loaves and two fishes. God can transform it for the good of others.

Do something for somebody else. No matter who or where you are, there is something you can do, somebody who needs you. Pray that you may be an instrument of God's peace, that where there is loneliness you may bring joy.


...

These are the operative words. The empty char, the empty mailbox, ... have no particular magic in themselves that will make a mature character out of a lonely man or woman. They will never produce a steady hope. Not at all. The effect of my troubles depends not on the nature of the troubles themselves but on how I receive them. I can receive them with both hands in faith and acceptance, or I can rebel and reject. What they produce if I rebel and reject will be something very different from a mature character, something nobody is going to like.

Look at the choices:
rebellion--if this is the will of God for me now, He doesn't love me.
rejection--if this is what God is giving me, I won't have any part of it.
faith--God knows exactly what He's doing.
acceptance--He loves me; Heplans good things for me; I'll take it.

The words "full of joy her and now" depend on the words "taken in the right spirit." You can't have one without the other. Taken in a spirit of trust, even loneliness contributes to the maturing of character, even the endurance of separation and silence and that hardest things of all uncertainty, can build in us a steady hope."


So try and have faith and acceptance, just like me. It's hard, but it's better trying and doing nothing. ^^