The world we live in...

A place filled with wolves- Matthew 10:16 "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." Matthew 10:28 "And do not fear those who kill the body but not the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

Friday, October 31, 2014

R.I.P. Walnut and others

My Dearest One

We first saw each other,
that special Sunday in June;
And now you've left,
Oh, why so soon!?

It took us awhile,
to really get along;
You bit me well,
but not for long.

The way you run,
champion of the wheel;
The best mom ever,
To eighteen, for real!

You never made a fuss,
however unpleasant for you,
touching babies three days old,
feeding you chilli, wasabi too!

All the "what if" 's
going in my head;
But I know it's too late,
so tears I shed.

I really miss you,
and it will never end;
Hiding in my shoe,
and those silly things you do.

Never will I find,
something as cute as you;
Your gentle little eyes,
and the black tiny poo.

I pray your kids,
grow up to be,
the same like you,
Walnut, my dearest one.


Friday, July 26, 2013


Really job well done!

Thursday, July 4, 2013

The Long Distance...


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

It's been awhile

HEY guys,

How have you all been?

I am finally back in my hometown Kuching, which is the tail of the big bear name Sarawak.

Not too sure when my last trip was, but everything still feels familiar.

The only thing I would complain about it the prices of products. I used to boast about the cheap and yummy stall food around the area, which are now tourist conning products. So I am quite disappointed, but that wont stop me from trying harder to find back the memories from childhood.

My mom used to shop around the area, and was lost easily, since she was brought up in Taiwan, and spoke little to nothing of the Malay language.

It was funny shopping with her, watching her speak Malay and saying the wrong words at the right time. She is just the classic mom I will have in my heart.

She mixes up "sini" and "ini", "situ" and "itu", good thing she knows "sibu" is not one of the "ibu"........

I love the diverse cultures in this area, yet I still see the war and strive, that the Chinese love themselves while the Malays endulge in their own riches...

Where was the peace and love I thought existed?????

It's like a family dynamic. Brother and sister, mom and daughter, grandpa and grand daughter, it's all just the "family issue" and so Malaysia has a "family issue" continuing the history from the time when the Japanese came, the time when all was lost but there was still come hope, and the reconstruction from the pits, and how we all helped each other, and now.... money killed the heart, where only the black hole lies, in wait to engulf another poor soul.

The rich feed themselves, the poor beg in vain, and I watch in all direction and wish I was blind, as my senses slowly numb, and smiling feels so foreign, as it is a sign of showing weakness and vulnerability  as I studied last year.

LOVE, what is it? Money? Fame? Or just a begger having some shelter and food to feed themself???

I wanted to love, yet was burned by the heart of terror, and here I press on the keyboard to click, and just wait for the apologies to ring. *silent* *silence* waiting to die...


Happy Hari Gawai! =D

Sunday, June 16, 2013

The document is finished

I hopped on the car, ready for journey to the never, ending galaxy.

In a room I ended, where the power was cute

I sat patiently waiting, while they were noises and rustles.

Wait! An order, a voice so familiar.

Don’t! EAT IT! I trembled and waited for daylight


Wind blowing…



Woke up more relaxed and ready for another ride

But public holiday, so the motel let me stay longer

Informal, involuntarily, minor

I had no choice of my own…

Tears, sweat, blood

They meant nothing no longer

Nothing to make me live and linger

I wanted instant death then and there

Who cares about the people waiting for me to die

So what if I live and lie

But haha, everything I said was truth and true

Blindness caught them and binded them in sin

I sit and wait and slowly fade

My tempo a bit too much for the slow players

I wave, goodbye, even to close family and friends

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

A new poem written in silent tears

Miss you being near 

I miss you so
if only you were here
And I wonder if you hear
my sweet longing to just miss you

The days that you were around
We played mostly on the ground
Nor sure what my role was
when you cut yourself with glass

Where did you go?
Do you even miss me a little?
So many questions echo back
And I find myself losing track

You loved me in your own special way
Told me to buy whatever and just simply stay
But where are you when here I am
To stay where you used to talk and say

Your remains is the shiny bits
And when I talk to people who care
They love me for you showed them love
And spent your time carrying their need

I wish. I thought. I knew?
In reality my world fell through
The world that was all happy and gay
shoot arrows at me night and day

Why you left me I question the past
Did I not seek you enough till last
Or am I to follow your religion
And face the pain or your remain

I want you to see me
What I have achieved
Do you even miss be a single little bit?
Because the world lied and I was deceived

Believing your leaving I caused the grief
No matter how hard to find some relief
The world stares and point even more
and laughs at how i examine a leave

Hod me close now
HUG me tightly please I beg
Your warm little hands 
never thought me to hold pots and pans

The stuff I missed
I look forward, for the chance
To learn things that you love most
Trying to know you at all cost

People stare and they all point
Yet I act like I don't care
I am invincible and so very rare
So much much that they talk even more

Misunderstanding I hare to clear
because my way of thinking they are unclear
Looking back to all the sad stuff
I really wish you were here in the rough

Your gentle warm touch
helping me to learn to sit on the couch
I miss you so, that my heart aches
and wish you were there with cakes

I miss you so much
And wish you to be present
Down under the big brown arch
To tell you "Happy Mother's Day!" mom

3AM NZ time

Saturday, May 19, 2012

"Nobody but Korea"

I entered in a really cool contest recently!  Please show your support. =D

If you don't know, there is a 3 minute video contest by the Korean Foreign Affairs  and Arirang, and you have to just share what you love about and why you love Korea. Google it! Title of the contest is "I love Korea, because..." video contest. Application closes tomorrow 20th May. Hwaitting!

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